Pistachio & White Chocolate Chip Cookies

Hey, y’all!  First of all I hope y’all enjoyed the photo of the cookies at the beginning of this post.  It’s been such a crazy, rollercoaster of a week for all of us.  It’s been tough so I really wanted to bring you magic and color and fun… and Easter love.  This is not as much a rant as it is a confession, y’all… a quarantine confession.  Let me preface this post by saying I am ashamed, embarrassed and so sorry for my behavior.  I don’t typically behave in this manner but I think all my angst with being sequestered reached a climax.  It is Good Friday, Holy Week, so here goes.  Don’t judge.  I confess, yesterday, and I don’t know how or why, I got out of bed when it was still dark out in a most foul and ugly mood.  I sipped my coffee while praying on the side like a mad woman to get this wrath, this fury, out of my system.  Honestly though, it may have been building up inside for a few days.  We’re all, as Dorothy Parker said, “Trapped like a trap in a trap” and yesterday I guess I dropped my basket.  Was I some kind of ugly!  I stomped through the house and and let my snarky thoughts get the better of me.  I didn’t say anything; I never yelled at anyone… at least not out loud, but I sure did in my head.  “I’ll be damned if I get that damn dog his food.  I mean it.  I’m not.  Okay, well, I’ll get his food but I’m not heating it up.  He can just eat that sh*t cold.  I don’t give a good God damn.”  Y’all need to know that poor dog had done nothing, nothing to warrant Mama’s white hot anger.  I slapped a big, ol’ lump of cold dog food in his bowl and just about threw the bowl into the stand.  Typically I make a fool out of myself every morning as I invite our dog, Perry, to have his breakfast.  In a high pitched, baby voice I beg him to eat.  Kind of goes like this, “Pehwee! Look!  Iss yo bwehfas.  An’ look.  Mama put a big ol’ chunk a turkey on top. Yeah!  C’mon, boy.  Have ya bwehfas.” Well, not yesterday.  I didn’t say a word but I thought, “I don’t give a good God damn if you eat it or not.  You don’t want it?  Don’t eat it!”  When Jimmy or James spoke to me I gave curt monosyllabic answers, never looking at them in the eye, while standing ramrod straight, a fake, sorority girl smile plastered on my face.  Always a bad sign.  Run, people.  I was being hateful and I liked it.  I didn’t care.  Dressed in my workout clothes, I grabbed my ray-bans, airpods and phone and took off.  I had to get out of there before I said or did something I’d deeply regret.  I wanted to break something… or someone.  Talk about a filthy temper.  Long story cut a little bit shorter, I called my two bff’s, Dana and Andrea, and after a very long walk, lots of me being quite the loud potty mouth, and even into the afternoon, they talked me off the ledge.  I can laugh about my anger because I’m pretty sure I’ll never act on it.  But, I’ve got to be honest with y’all, it’s downright exhausting to hit that level of fool-idiot-jerk.  Anyway, I cautiously woke up this morning mentally walking on eggshells, tiptoeing carefully through my thoughts.  As Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, who planned the attack on Pearl Harbor, later wrote in his diary, “I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrible resolve.” I hear ya, dude.  I didn’t want to wake up MY  personal ogre/beast/pig/devil.  When I realized all was well, that my emotional sea was calm and still, a strong wave of gratefulness and almost happiness flowed over me.

I have so much.  I am so blessed.  And I know it.  It’s Holy Week, y’all, a glorious time of love, redemption and rebirth.  It’s springtime!  So, along with the recipe of what my husband called “the perfect cookie”, I give you these photos. My intent is they give you delight, magic and peace.  Jemima Puddleduck was part of a handmade set of Peter Rabbit figurines given to me by my mother when I was so young I still believed in the Easter bunny.  The two marvelous chatting frogs are made of a heavy metal, hand painted and given to me by my older sister, Cynthia, years ago.  The precious cross is also hand shaped from several Palm Sundays ago.  I hope you feel surrounded with the love of the people you’re with and I wish you an Easter rich with tranquility, sweet love and light.  As my aunt in Puerto Rico would say, “May God bless you and the Virgin accompany you now and always.”  Peace, my friends🕊